My children are napping and I feel a need to write. To document my thoughts at this moment.
I don't necessarily intend on anyone reading these thoughts, but part of me just wants to get it off my mind and onto something external. By doing so, I would imagine subconsciously I'm releasing it. Almost like letting go of the end of a balloon string and letting my balloon fly away into the sky where I know it will be in a better place. Where all the balloons go. Home.
Two weeks ago, I began reading a book called "The Artist's Way" by Julia Cameron and I joined a bible study group that is reading this book also. Part of our "homework" is to follow Julia's instruction to keep a daily journal. We must write our thoughts daily...as random and nonsensical as they may be. Just write. The purpose, we are told, is to dislodge whatever thoughts are potentially consuming your mind and preventing you from ultimately being creative.
I guess that is partly my excuse to keep an online journal. I certainly don't consider myself a writer. In fact, I have another blog on holistic-type living that I can't even keep up, because of my lack of passion for writing. However, there are many other things that I am passionate about that are always consuming my mind. And if they are consuming my mind, that means I must get them down on paper (or in this case, a screen), right? My thoughts are always FULL of my children. Being a mother consumes me. It's become part of my DNA. So I have an inkling that a large part of this journal/blog will involve them.
I'm also passionate about the arts. It feels so strange to me, to even write that. I let go of the arts a long time ago. Twelve years to be exact, right around the time I got married. You see, all throughout my childhood and schooling, I lived the arts. I breathed, thought and dreamt about the arts. Fine arts and music.
I belonged to the National Arts Honors Society and participated in art shows. I studied art in college and carried around a huge portfolio case and art case around campus. I even wore my hair in tiny buns across the top of my head...oh so very artsy.
I lived music. I belonged to every band and orchestra in school. Concert band. Jazz Band. Marching Band. Orchestra. I even belonged to the New Jersey Youth Symphony. Most people don't know, I played four instruments and loved to sing. I studied piano, violin, clarinet and even played tuba one year! I was obsessed.
Then one day, I graduated college and decided I was going to be a "grown up". I got a corporate marketing job and soon after got married. My work consumed me. I traveled a lot and loved being a new wife. I filled my days with work and wife life. And slowly...
my art got burried under my pillow...
then under my bed...
then out the door.
Well, part of my Artist's Way study group is re-discovering your passion for the arts. And putting it all before the Lord, the ultimate Creator. I am ever-so-excited and can not wait to see what unravels in this journey.
I will confess to this today. I am Marilyn.
And I am a Mom.
But I am re-discovering Me.
So I guess you can call me a
Discovering Mom.
